How To Get The Most From Therapy
Get The Most From Therapy PDF (Short Version)
Therapy can be a transformative experience. Though, it requires more than just showing up to appointments once a week. To get the most out of therapy, it's important to:
Set clear goals
Make a commitment of time, and
Actively monitor progress towards those goals.
Not Just Clear Problems, But Also Clear Goals
You probably have a clear understanding of the problems that you want to address in therapy. These issues may relate to your work, stress, worry, feeling awful, or your relationships. You should definitely have the space to talk about these areas in therapy. However, therapy might not be as useful if you only talk about your problems. Setting clear goals is equally, if not more, important.
“Dead Man” or Dead Person Goals
The idea of Dead Man goals means the goals that you set should not be something a person who is dead could achieve. If your goal does not meet this criterion, then it fails the Dead Man’s Test (see Critchfield & Shue, 2018 for empirical support). In other words, goals should be positively framed (i.e., a behavior that can be performed) or something that you want to achieve, rather than something that you want to avoid. Setting positive goals can help you to stay motivated and focused on the things that matter most to you (Locke & Latham, 2002).
| Problem | “Dead Person” Goal | Reframed Positive Goal |
|---|---|---|
| Anxiety | “Not feeling anxious.” | “Practice mindfulness 5 minutes a day as a pathway toward relating differently to unwanted or unhelpful thoughts.” |
| Doubt | “No longer doubt myself.” | “Even when I doubt myself, I will do X (e.g., speak slowly and clearly or introduce myself to new people).” |
| Anger | “I will not get angry.” or “Do not yell.” | “Take three slow breaths when I notice I am angry.” |
| Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors | “Stop pulling my hair.” | “Develop awareness of automatic hair-pulling by getting in the habit of logging urges and instances of hair-pulling.” |
| Communication | “Stop arguing with my partner.” | “Practice active listening by reflecting and summarizing my partner’s point of view before making them understand my position.” |
| Substance Use | “Stop binge drinking.” | “Begin logging alcohol use in real-time for every drink” (many applications available for this) or “Practice mindful drinking at least once with every drink.” |
| Depression | “Not feel so awful.” | “Exercise or spend time with friends as a pathway toward living my life despite unwanted thoughts and feelings.” |
Time Commitment
Another crucial element of getting the most out of therapy is making a commitment of time. This means dedicating a specific amount of time each week to work on your therapy goals. This might involve attending weekly therapy sessions, completing homework or exercises outside of sessions, or engaging in other activities that support your progress. By committing to a regular schedule of target goals, you can create momentum and a sense of progress that can be highly motivating.
Many of us, understandably, seek a quick fix for our problems, as we all want to feel better and happier as soon as possible (see Harris, 2022). Growth and change require effort and dedication. It's like wanting to become physically fit without exercising or eating a healthy diet. The desire is there, but without making real changes to our lifestyle, we won't see the results we want. We need to be willing to examine our behaviors and environments and make the necessary changes to achieve the outcomes we seek. Otherwise, we risk staying stuck in the same patterns and environment.
You might also think of therapy like learning a musical instrument. Learning a musical instrument requires consistent effort and practice outside of lessons to truly improve.
The same principle applies to therapy. Just as a musician cannot expect to become proficient without dedicating time to practice, client’s seeking growth through therapy need to commit to making changes outside of therapy sessions. In both cases, it's about building new skills and behaviors over time. By actively engaging in the process and applying what we learn in therapy to our everyday lives, we can achieve lasting transformation and become the best version of ourselves.
Like mastering an instrument, the process of therapy may be challenging at times, but the rewards are worth the effort.
Monitor Progress Toward Goals
Finally, it's essential to actively monitor your progress towards your goals (Locke & Latham, 2002). This can involve keeping a journal, tracking your mood and energy levels, or using other tools to measure your progress (e.g., daily tally marks, apps that monitor daily step count if goals are related to physical activity, habit tracker apps, etc.). Most of my psychologist friends or mentors monitor progress when wanting to make behavior changes or develop new habits.
Behavioral monitoring is a critical aspect of meeting goals because it helps us maintain accountability and stay focused on our objectives. We can identify areas where we may be struggling or where we need to adjust our strategies. Ultimately, this process enables us to make continuous improvements and reach our goals with greater success.
Summary
To get the most out of therapy, it's essential to set clear problems and goals that are positively framed (i.e., not Dead Man goals), make a time commitment, and actively monitor your progress toward your goals. By taking a proactive and engaged approach to therapy, you can achieve meaningful growth and healing in your life.
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You can learn more about my background and credentials on my About Me page.
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Critchfield, T. S., & Shue, E. Z. (2018). The dead man test: a preliminary experimental analysis. Behavior Analysis in Practice, 11, 381-384. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40617-018-0239-7
Harris, R. (2022). The happiness trap: How to stop struggling and start living. Shambhala Publications.
Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation: A 35-year odyssey. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705–717. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.57.9.705
